MEN AS SERVANTS

To serve, is defined, "to care for another persons needs, to lend a helping hand, to satisfy another's desires, to accommodate, to respect their right to have needs and have them taken care of."
As a man and as a Christian, you are called to serve. Servanthood is motivated by the heart and the desire to serve and love others without any personal gain or to have your needs taken care of by making them feel obligated to do so. True servanthood does so with humility displaying a total lack of pride, with no thought of selfish gain. For a true leader is a servant. A leader is one who serves the needs of others first and foremost; is an encourager, a motivator, and is willing to become less, that others might become more. When a leader does this with consistency, they are not only respected, but taken care of and blessed beyond measure, for most people will do anything for such a leader. They will serve this type of leader faithfully, with love and with a willingness to give one hundred percent in humble gratitude.
We have no greater example of this than Jesus Christ, who came to serve all mankind with a heart of humble servanthood. Yes, our Lord Jesus Christ served faithfully in all ways, even up to the very end when He drew His last breath on earth at Calvary's cross. He served His disciples while teaching them and guiding them throughout His ministry on earth. One of His greatest examples of servanthood is when He placed the towel around Himself and humbly washed His disciples feet at the last supper. Just think of our Savior, while yet knowing He was about to endure the cross, He took the time to serve and teach His disciples this great lesson, that no one is too important to serve the needs of others before their own. The disciples, as you recall, had been competing for recognition and were bickering over which one of them was the greatest. Each disciple had the opportunity placed before them to grab the basin and towel, but none did so, for their focus was upon only themselves. Yet, Jesus the true servant took up the basin and humbly washed their feet, and proclaimed "I have given you an example to follow." But the disciples murmured "No, Lord I will never allow you to wash my feet." Why would they say this when just moments ago their thoughts were upon themselves? It was the sting of their own selfish pride hitting hard and piercing directly into the heart. The words of our loving Savior opened their eyes to the truth, the truth of true servanthood.
Christ did not intend servanthood to stop there. No, let it be said, His message must be carried into all walks of life, into our everyday living. So men, follow His example as a husband and father. You are the one who is to lead and guide your wife and children, therefore, you are especially called to serve. You are called to serve their needs first before your own. In fact, scripture tells us you are Biblically called to do so and will be held accountable in how you serve your wife. Eph. 5:25 - 29 clearly states "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the Word and to present her to himself as a radiant church....... In the same way husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds it and cares for it, just as Christ does the church." Unfortunately so many men look at the verse before..... Eph 5:22.... "Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord" and we just want to stop there, but the fact remains a woman is to submit to a husband who loves her, cares for her and nourishes her as Eph. 5:25-29, not to a husband who's only concern is to rule the roost and be an island unto himself, to satisfy his needs and selfish desires only and foremost. Or for one who uses the word "submit" and manipulates his wives love for Jesus, by using Christ's death on the cross as a way to control his wife into submitting to his every desire, with no regard to her needs, and no care if those desires are selfish, hurtful or unbiblical.
If you want to see how a man is doing in loving, caring, and serving his wife, just take a close look at her eyes, her appearance, her demeanor. Are her eyes dull, lifeless, or do they sparkle with a fire of vibrancy? Is her overall appearance haggard, worn, her face without smile, or does she glow from the beauty of a heart filled with the peace and security that comes from the confidence that she is not alone? Does she goes through life with a partner who knows her needs are important and a priority in order to bless her life? So husbands, take a good look at your wife. Is there a sparkle in her eyes, her smile, does she walk in quiet confidence? Does she light up with beauty when she sees you? An outward beauty that is fired from the beauty within, because her heart is filled and refreshed by your love. Look through photographs, look at her stance, her smile, her eyes. What do you see? If you don't see a woman who is vibrant and alive. Then might I suggest, it is time to read God's Word, get down on your knees and go to the lord in heartfelt prayer, allowing Him to open up those areas in your life that have to do with your responsible servanthood to your wife! Jesus has proclaimed the way and He is right there to guide you and teach you all you need to know. He will change your heart and give you a new heart of servanthood, but you have to want it. He will never force His will upon you, for He is the greatest servant of all!
Let us proclaim, "Jesus is our leader and our example, it is in His footsteps we will follow." So men, as a leader do you encourage her, let her know her gifts, her love, all her efforts are appreciated? Thank her for being who she is? Do you help her to use and grow in her gifts? Do you help her grow in who she is as a person, as the woman Christ has meant her to be? Does she know you feel she is a blessing? Do you thank God for her and for how God has blessed you with the second greatest gift given to man-the special gift of a woman?
Men, God has called us to be servants. We must start with our own home and be willing to follow the verse in Eph. 5, to seriously take it to heart. Allowing the words of Christ to pierce through your very being as you put it into practice. Take the time to ask yourself these questions. Allow God to work upon your heart. Do you work your eight or nine hour day, while she works her twelve to sixteen hour day? Do you come home seeing she is weary and without asking her, do the dishes, take the children to yourself, tell her you love her, and allow her the freedom to go to a quiet place, to rest, relax, read or do whatever she needs, to unwind and refresh herself? Do you also take the responsibility for the children when they have needs, or are ill? Do you get up at night with them at times, allowing her to sleep? If she gets up, do you also get up to comfort her with your presence and let her know that you are also concerned about their illness? The next day do you insist that she goes to bed early to take care of herself? Do you tell her that you will take care of the children and any undone chores, or does she still have to put in her long day without sleep? Does she have to work double time the next day because she was worn out and went to bed early to get her needed rest, and the chores that were left undone stay undone until she does them?
When she is ill, does she know you will care for her and insist she gets the needed rest to get well? Do you do the chores for her so her load isn't overwhelming when she is healthy again? Do you make sure she feels no guilt because she needs to rest as a result of her illness? When she is ill, does she know the comfort of your love and concern? Do you pamper her, hold her to let her know you care about her and want to help her get well?
Do you take care of her emotional needs? Let her know that she is special, that she is indeed a precious gift from God and you are blessed to have her? Do you hold her in your arms and allow her to rest, wrapped in your love and security? Do you tell her it is a joy for you to be able to hold her and love her this way, and most important that you do so because you love to be near her. A woman needs to know she can ask to be held close, cuddle next to you, walk hand in hand with you and do so in the secure knowledge that it doesn't always lead to something further. Do you take walks with her, holding hands, Enjoying each other and nature? Do you have quiet conversations about anything and everything, sharing thoughts, dreams, special moments? Do you do things together as companions and partners, whether it is grocery shopping, folding laundry, window shopping, cooking dinner? It is amazing how chores are no longer chores when they are spent as friends doing them together, and using that time to talk, laugh and enjoy each other. Does she know that she is your companion, partner and best friend?
Do you listen to her when she speaks and remain focused on what she says, without forming opinions and answers before she is done? Is she allowed to share her true feelings and know she can do so without fear? Or do you listen and only hear those things that might affect you and respond to those things alone? Do you make decisions as partners and discuss with her the options and desired goals? Do you listen to her input and if it is the wiser choice, do you go with it, even if you must give something up? Do you tell her you respect her for her wisdom and thank her?
When she comes to you and you are watching sports, working on the car or doing whatever it might be, do you unfocus on what is occupying your mind and focus totally on her? If not you are making a fatal mistake. She needs to know that she is still irresistible to you, that you love her and are as attracted to her as when you were first courting her. You let her know she is irresistible by always focusing on her when she comes to you. Eye contact is very important; just think of how she would smile if you looked her in the eyes when you spoke. Why? This way she knows there is nothing, whether it be sports, TV, or your hobbies that are more important to you than she is. How many times do you hear of a wife talking to her husband while he is watching football, and she says the most ridiculous things and he just nods and grunts, never hearing a word. "Honey, your pants are on fire, " Dear, there are elephants out in the pool," "Honey, I am letting the neighbor boy drive you new car!" This may seem funny but it is the exact opposite. Each times this happens she begins to feel less and less irresistible and loved. She begins to strongly dislike those things that you refuse to unfocus on when she NEEDS you to focus on her. What is really sad about this, is that if you would focus on her at these times, even if you miss the big play or whatever it may be, she would gladly let you do just about anything you wanted. She would feel " she still has it after all these years" and feel so loved, so cherished that she would love you all the more because of it. This beginning of building mutual love for one another is vital in helping her feel secure in who she is, as your wife, partner, best friend and companion. After all, Besides God isn't your relationship with your wife more important than anything else?
Does she feel she has to be perfect in all she does to please you? Does she take on the guilt for everything that goes wrong because she is made responsible for everything that goes on in the home? Or do you let her know that you have faith in her, believe in her and trust in her, as a mother, wife, and who she is as a person? Do you tell her that her love, her devotion, her prayers for you and all she is helps you to be a better person, and allows you to serve the Lord better? That you are thankful for her love, and her love for you is pleasing and beautiful? That her trust in you as a person and knowing she cares so much for you allows you to be so much more, because you know she will stand beside you no matter what. Does she know you will also stand beside her no matter what?
Do you encourage her gifts and who she is in the Lord? Do you stand beside her to help her serve as she is burdened to do? Do you compliment her for her ministry and pray for her ministry? Do you give up your time and energy to help her in her ministry and allow her to fly to the heights that she is capable of achieving, or do you hold her back and make her feel that your ministry is the only important one?
Most of all do you pray with her, holding her hands in yours, allowing your heart to touch hers and go as one into the presence of the Lord? Do you thank Him for this treasure and ask that He would guide you, lead you and grant you the wisdom to love her more, serve her better and help her to be all the Lord would have her be? Do you ask that the Lord would help you to be sensitive to her needs, and then care for them? Do you read God's word with her, then reflect on it and listen to what her heart has to say, and perhaps learn and grow yourself from her sensitivity and perspective? Are the children involved in family prayer and devotions and do they know without a doubt that Jesus is head of your home? Do you lift them up in prayer also asking for wisdom to serve their needs and help them to grow and be all they can be in the Lord?
Jesus, the great servant has called us, and He will provide the way. Look to Him for guidance and ask yourself, what would it mean to love and serve your wife as Christ loved the church? How would you present her as a radiant church? How can her needs be better tended too? How would you truly love her as your own body? Would you give yourself up for her as Christ did? You are the man of the house, it is your Biblical responsibility, are you willing to accept it?
Will you love her, comfort her, encourage her, give her peace and security as you once vowed to do on your wedding day? Begin today, let her know that she is the second greatest gift God has given you. Let her know that God's Word is upon your heart. Allow her the incredible joy of knowing just as there is no fear in the perfect love given from God, there is also no fear in the love that you two share. This is love. This is unconditional love. This is love as it was always intended to be. So love her and serve her in this manner and you will not only have the greatest partner, companion, and best friend, but a wife willing to bless you and serve you in return. By placing the Word in action you will have your needs taken care of, for she will bless you and love you, way beyond what you ever dreamed possible. The choice is yours!