(Mal 2:11-17, Luke 7:36-50)
If no other reason, so many of us are taking a battering at the moment. We are like a Fishing fleet in a storm it has to stop fishing ride out the storm. For some it can be so rough some never fish again.
Christians called not to have storms, but to be able to ride them out better than most
I see many people not surviving the storm, either they sink and are never seen again or worse they give up on God
Big ships can sink and little ships survive - why?
No oneavoids storms but you can learn how to ride the out
Some can ride out storms and still be effective – go fishing.
Some of best Christians are always battling huge storms.
Many different types of storms, and we can’t cover them all this mini series:
April 22nd Divorce and Rejection
April 29th Bereavement
May 6th Growing Up
13th Debt & Unemployment
Why do rejection? And why divorce? Rejection is the most crippling of human interactions – as a child by other children, but also in courtship friendship and jobs· Reality TV thrives on the observation of others suffering some form of rejection. I Would argue worst form of rejection is divorce because
No one marries with divorce in mind
Marriage is about the Total giving of all of yourself. Hopes, fears dreams, you offer not only to receive their total care but also to give yours. You offer your whole life. Thrown back at you and has unwanted stamped all over it.
It leaves people permanently damaged and can mean they are unable to make sense of life or themselves or God ever again.
Huge topic can’t cover it all today
Lying behind it is the issue of does God reject and why do I feel that God himself has rejected me when others reject me?
So we are going to do three things:
We are going to remind ourselves about being on the receiving end of rejection and how that feels.
We are going to look about Our Heavenly father does rejection and why
See if we can see how we can come up with some ways of dealing with things.
I think if I asked you to remember a time when you were rejected and to recall how it felt no one would have any problems doing that. For some of you the pain is still so real you cannot bear it.First lesson to grasp everyone goes through it and is hurt by it.It is not just you. But how we cope with it makes all the difference. Rejection hits me in two ways.Way one is it is in you face you can see it and every one knows you have been brushed off, it hurts, your angry and if you me, you let them know at once that was not a good thing to have done. And they either back peddle or they don’t. Way two is when something is said or done and you take it in you stride and some time later may be days later you get it and then it hurts and if anything it hurts more because you can’t do anything about it.Both these events lead to the worst thing about rejection gets into your memory and it can immerge at anytime and hurt you.In fact it happened just as I was writing this bit on Friday. There are many ways in which we can be rejected
Not accepting our advice.
Not listening to us
Doing the opposite of what we requested or hoped for.
Being forgotten
Not getting that job or that promotion
Having our offer of help refused
The list is endless Which bring us to the next part of it
The way it is done. If someone says no to us, but we know they really care about us, they value us, know our situation and want what is best for us. A statement like "I do not think that is best for you right now does not hurt." or "Thank you for you opinion and suggestions, but I really feel this is the best way forward at this time.” is easier to take when someone who cares says it the right way What lies behind the hurt of all this rejection is the hope, and the fear, of “If only this person had understood me, if only they could see the real me, they would not have done that.". Allied to that is the thought "I honestly thought I was better than that person why can’t they see what the are missing in me.
The pain of rejection lies other have only seen part of us, or have misunderstood or part of us. The other part of it is that we wanted to fly. The thing that has been denied us would have helped grow or become better. It would have enabled us to fulfil our true potential. Or at the very least it would have been a just reward for all our hard work. So now we fallback into obscurity or never really grow into who we should be. And the worst part is we cannot go back and do it again. We don’t get a second go a life. And it seems too much to get up, dust yourself off and go again, because this time it will be worse when you fail. Now there is so much we could add to this, but with divorce it is a thousand times worse, because you have already given so much of yourself and all you have given is lying in ruins around you .Worst of all everyone knows and maybe they are laughing, or worse they are sneering.
So let us move on to God. Given it is so horrible to be rejected. why does God allow it and surely he would never do it himself? Well our Malachi reading makes it very clear that the Father does reject and he can be pretty cutting with the comments that go with it. He tells us he cannot abide people who worship him and something else.He hates it when people rejected their partners for a newer better model and because they do, that he rejects them. He hates people who "clothe themselves with violence". And those who call him unjust or thinks He does not care. Rejection really does upset God; why, because he has been rejected so many times. Firstly in the Garden of Eden. Secondly in the Life of Israel. Thirdly In His son on the cross. Fourthly by an unfaithful church. And Fifthly an unresponsive world
Yet our Father God shows us some very interesting things about handling rejection. First is he keeps going, he goes on working with people despite it all. Secondly he never ends community - He lives with the other members of the Trinity, the angels and redeemed humanity in heaven.
He does not let rejection define him. He only rejects after years of wanton rejection of others. And he does so because his demand for justice for the oppressed. He offers forgiveness. He gives his people not only healing but also to transform themselves so completely that they can live new better lives. He hides our new lives in him
1 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God.2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.3 For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.4 When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Col 3:1-4 (NIV)
All this is no good unless we can access all that God has for us. See if we can see how we can come up with some ways of dealing with things. We see from our Gospel reading that he does not reject the woman when every one else did. He deals gently with Simon’s rejection of him. And he points how God want to deal with us by forgive ness. Because what really hurts us and is the thing that debilitates us, when we consider our rejection is this:
How much did I contribute to my own rejection?
What was it that I did that caused this to happen?
I know I too need to be forgiven even though I am the one who got hurt the most. Which is why we think God has rejected us. Is the big rejection really God punishing us by other means.
So here is what we have to do when we are facing rejection and disappointment.
Don’t give up on prayer
Need for close walk with Jesus
Understand your true identity
A good friend who tells the truth
Supportive group of friends/home group.
Belief in that there is a plan for your life.
There are always lessons to learn and you can be healed. It is prayer, not time that changes things. It is not always about you it is mostly about them.
Learn about you and learn to love what God has made, Jesus has saved and the Spirit fills.
The power to forgive will set you free.
Amen
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