THE PATH

The Path
When I first came to Christ it was a wondrous experience. One filled with joy and often wide eyed wonder at the incredible love that Jesus freely gave me through His death on the cross. That I might have eternal life and the peace of fellowship with God through Him, a fellowship that I ached for, a fellowship that brought me love, acceptance and the desire to draw closer to God. I feel my thoughts here are perhaps how most of us feel when we first become Christians. I came to know Christ seven years ago through the reading of His Word after facing several trials, filled with hurt, loneliness and despair. In speaking with others, it seems many who accept Christ later in life do so at a time of heart breaking trial or at a time when we realize that though we may have many things including power, money, and possessions, that there is still an emptiness inside. We realize something is missing in our lives, there is a thirst inside that the fleeting things of this world cannot quench. At this time we hungrily thirst for God's Word, Christian fellowship, and with all our heart yearn to grow in love and knowledge of God. Things seemed clear to me at first, for I knew I wanted to grow in my love, knowledge, and service to God, but because of the hurt I had faced and the fear of being hurt again I allowed no highs or lows in my life. I kept my heart straight-line when it came to things of the world and other people. At one point I realized I needed to allow my heart to feel again, to believe in the beauty of God's world, the gifts He gave me to enjoy it, and to believe in those He would send me to. I decided to walk this path. A path away from isolation, loneliness and in serving only others. A path that would allow me to continue to serve Him, but also would allow Him to show me again the beauty of this world, of life, of others, and to feel with the heart He gave me. This path of course had it's dangers, for to give my heart to others, to have expectations, could lead to being hurt and having expectations unmet. I was blessed with new friends, enjoying the beauty of God's creation and fun activities. I was allowing my heart to be touched by others and giving my heart in return. It was during this time that I again faced a difficult trial. There is a difficult six mile path that I hike at a nearby National park. I was hiking this day much in prayer and thought, as I was feeling hurt, feeling that no matter how hard I tried I never seemed to be worthy, that I had some fatal flaw in who I was. I felt the only value I had was in how I could be useful and just being me as a person did not matter. It seemed that not only was I not important, but that I was so far down on the list of being cared about, that I was not only not on the same page, but almost not in the book anymore. I felt that God didn't care about my needs either. That my prayers were not being heard and if they were they were being ignored. That my needs really did not count and my life, like me, only had value when I was useful. I started to think to myself, "the life of a Christian is too difficult," always trying to do what is right, trying to find the balance between, worship, work, service to God, family and friends and still having time for myself. I felt frustrated with myself and my life. As I was hiking I realized that the path I walked resembled so much the path I was now walking through life. That the visions of things close were usually clear, but things in the distance were either cloudy or unseen and I needed to rely on the one who blazed the trail before me. I had to have faith as I walked the path that things in the distance that were cloudy would become clear, things unseen would soon be seen, and no matter how rugged, how windy the path seemed before me that the one who blazed the trail had walked it before me, and I too could walk this path. As I got about halfway through the path I was on, I grew weary and tired and had some fear that I could not continue, so I found a place to sit and rest. As I rested I looked back and realized I could walk back the way I had come, and go back to the way I had lived if I chose to. I was frustrated, down on myself and my value as a person. I was afraid to go on, feeling that my expectations, my needs would never count or be met. This path though perhaps the easy choice, because it left out the unknown, many fears and changes that were sometimes so hard to take, and the safety of not giving my heart to hope and to love. This would be the safe way to go, but also if I did, it would be as if I had failed, and I knew if I went back I would lose hope, and without hope there is only loneliness and despair. Not just for myself, but I also could not serve those close to me as God would have me with commitment and love. I knew also I could stay where I was at, rest and not move on. I could stay comfortable, feel safe, and not worry about the trail behind or the trail ahead. I could stay where I was and provide for myself alone, turn to the things of this world to please me, give me joy, and seek my satisfaction in these things alone. I could see though that it was possible for me to turn away from God and allow the things of this world, the comforts, the distractions to become my God. But I also knew that sooner or later if I did not move on I would also lose hope. For the things of this world are fleeting, and though they satisfy for awhile, they still leave one empty and alone, and again where there is no hope, there is no real life. So I looked at the path that lay ahead of me, and though things were still unclear or unseen, I knew I had to rely on the One who blazed the trail for me to guide me and lead me. To have faith that He will take care of those things I am unsure of or those things that I might fear. Having faith that in His time He would make each thing clear as I walked along, and that He would take my hand and help me over the rugged places, take my hand and help me up the steep rocky places. I had to have faith that even those things He chose not to make clear to me, that He would always have my best interests in mind, and to trust in Him at these times. To have faith that as I came upon those places where the trail turned that I would know which way to go. To continue to walk in the faith and hope that He was always be before me, there to love and guide me, and when I felt I had no strength or courage, it would be at these times that He would be my strength and courage. I now know I could not return from whence I came, for that lead back to having very little purpose, isolation and worst of all a loss of hope. I also knew I could not stay comfortable and safe where I was, for that also would eventually lead to destruction and a loss of hope. That the path I started to walk is the path I needed to continue to walk, in the strength and courage of God and in the hope and wisdom that He would allow me to have the faith to take His hand when I needed to, and allow His love to guide me and care for me. I now choose to walk this path though unseen and unclear at times, though filled with weariness and fear at times, for I know My Savior did blaze this path for me and will always be there to love and guide me. As I got up and continued to walk, it was as if God smiled down and choose to speak to me and affirm my decision, for I soon came upon a feather lying on the side of the trail. I picked it up and it reminded me of Isaiah 40:31..... " but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." And of course this lead to another verse I share often.... Jer. 29:11.... " For I know the plans I have for you, " declares the Lord, " plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." If you are walking a path like this I pray with all my heart that you will choose to continue to walk on, and allow God to take care of those things unseen right now, the doubts and fears. That you would allow His love, that is ever abundant and sufficient to meet your needs. That a foundation based on Jesus is unshakeable and ever firm. That he will always love you and serve you as a best friend, companion and a partner with all His heart, a heart that has your name within it. God will always love you and care for your true needs. You do deserve the best, and God gave you His best in Jesus Christ. You are a Precious and special child of God and are loved by Him in an incredible way.... For His love is without limit and forever!